Note: to whoever took time to add to the story and cleaned up the headline, thank you very much! As you may know, I have the tendency to make big, hairy, audacious headlines.
Also, will you remove the page’s password? I want to make the entire content editable to everyone. If you don’t think that’s a good move, at least let us share the password. Contact me by putting a comment in the blog or email at brampitoyo at hotmail dot com. Thanks. -Bram
(You can erase this note anytime.)
I didn't want some unfriendly to claim it if I was going to play, but I don't mean to exclude either. I don't seem to be able to un-claim it or un-password it as you requested, so I've changed the email to yours. If you leave it open to public editing, I feel no special need to share the password, so feel free to change it.
-N
Hey stranger, you’re completely right about unfriendly claiming. I didn’t change the password that you sent, though, so you can still access and modify the headline if need arises.
Yes, this story will be open to everyone.
Also, thank you for creating a separate page for these notes.
And I never knew that you could insert a horizontal bar sans ‘HR.’
Good call on using Verdana to maximize compatibility.
Let’s keep in touch.
I just corrected some spellings/punctuations in the story, and will be doing that periodically; but you guys—whoever you are—are mighty good at writing this. Please spread this project to anyone who might want to play.
Write on!
–Bram
Honestly, why is it already a James Bond movie within the first page? We need character development!
--Jake
Completely agree, but that’s open source writing for you. Either that or I am really a dubious writer :)
UPDATE: Anyways, the new addition should be more along your lines. I’m planning to see this project to the end (if it ever ends) and see where it will go. Your writing expertise (or anyone’s) would be a priceless resource!
-Bram
You have to start in the action to hook your reader. There's plenty of time to develop characters. I created pages for each of them to discuss how we ought to develop them. It might be useful to discuss back story, motivation, etc.
I tried to take out the bizarreness that the story took on but leave the basic plot that was added. I don't mind writing any given story, but I don't want it to feel disingenuous to a reader by going on abrupt, unprecedented twists. I thought some of the writing I took out was great, just trumped by other concerns.
-N
Agreed. I think everybody should keep his/her own writing in check in order to not produce bizarre kitsch—either that, or somebody like you should go through and edit the story every so often.
I hope people check their ego at the door and play nicely with each other.
Anyway, thanks for the contribution! The story flows so much better now. Not sure if that’s good or bad, considering the nature of this project...
We need more contributors here, you/someone got any?
-Bram
Let's leave the character development to nature - literary themes are suggested, not told! I also like the wackiness; gives the story a style and life of its own that you don't find anywhere else. Keep things natural!
I do agree, though, that a greater variety of contributors would help. We need some publicity.
-- T_T
I think that this project is interesting because it walks the treachery line between “wackiness/unnatural twists” and "natural character development." Some people have a tendency toward the first, and some toward the latter, but I think that if everyone treats the storyline with respect and avoid deus ex machinas, this project will succeed.
That means that the trip to the hospital can turn into a car-chasing scene, but the cab can't suddenly grow wings and fly to Neptune to avoid the chasers.
About publicity... We are listed on Jottit developer’s list of interesting sites but we could surely use some more. Mind if I ask you two (N and T_T) to blog about it? Feel free to linkback to your blog from the main story page.
Cheers.
-Bram
There's a section where we switched to narrative from Charles' point of view that I marked in green. I went back to Monique's where I added. Do we want to revise so that we have both points of view, or edit to keep everything from Monique's?
-N
Shoot, you are absolutely right. My only concern with revising it is losing some of the immediacy and directness that has always been present in the story, but if you can do it, then by all means please revise.
The story is moving along quite nicely. I noticed that the setting was kind of moved from mid-century to present day/near future—a good decision, I think, but we’ll see.
New authors (or anybody that happens to drop by here for whatever reason), please don’t hesitate to introduce yourself and speak your mind in this page.
Thanks.
-Bram
If anyone is still alive, would he/she be so kind as to leave me a message here? I would like to find out a way to get more people to join this project.
-Bram
I think that most of us have passed on to the next world. Unfortunately, I'm not brilliant enough to come up with a plan for convincing the masses to join our cause, so it's up to you and whoever else comes along to do something about this utter lack of life.
-- T_T
Hey T_T, thanks for checking in, and sorry for the lack of reply. Obviously you’ve been a great contributor to the story :) My blog is slowly gaining momentum as well, so hopefully more people will chip in later. The only strategy that I could think of is to plaster a link to Linkenfuego’s Jottit page on as many places as we can and wait for people to flock in. It may be crude, but people will flock.
Cheers,
-Bram
I thought the story would be epic length by now. I really didn't mean to disappear for three months (it doesn't seem that long). I've added it to my newsreader now, so I should be paying better attention to the project.
I added a little to the story. I'll keep playing with it every once in a while.
-N
N,
Jeebus, I've forgotten about this project for almost three months as well! Almost nobody contributed but T_T and you, but I still hope that that somehow this project will gain wider recognition, and thus, higher number of coauthors. Adding it to newsreader is a good idea, and one that I regretted for not doing sooner.
Thanks for the addition, and for staying with us.
-Bram